HOT TOPICS
IFMA MONTHLY MEETING ON FEBRUARY 2, 2010 IN NEW CASTLE
DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE BY SUE THOMPSON
The keys to dealing with difficult people both at work and at home, were unlocked by Sue Thompson, at the regular monthly membership meeting of the Delaware Chapter of IFMA on February 2, 2010. Sue is a Facility Manager at the Access Group in Wilmington, as well as a consultant on workplace and lifestyle issues through her “Set Free Life Seminars.” Sue has been a member of the Delaware Chapter for a number of years and has given several presentations at Chapter Meetings on topics of interest to the Facility Management Community.
In her remarks, Sue said that her goal was to give the audience “something they can implement almost immediately.” Her belief is that mastering the art of dealing with difficult people is more about dealing with “different people,” or those that don't share the same personality type with you. You can easily be frustrated in dealing with those folks that fall in a whole another spectrum from the one you are comfortable with and that they see the world in ways that can be very foreign to what you perceive.
There are a number of ways in which some people have already been introduced to this concept of approaching different people as in the Myers-Briggs tests for one example. Sue prefers going back in time further to the way Ancient Greek Philosopher Hippocrates categorized personality types more than a thousand years ago. His four personality types included the “popular sanguine, the perfect melancholy, the powerful choleric, and the peaceful phlegmatic.” Hippocrates believed there was a “biological” underpinning of personality, which led him to name types in ways relating to bodily fluids.
The sanguine person has extra blood, leading to their extroverted behavior that makes them the center of attention; the melancholy person being the perfectionists that we are all familiar with and find difficult to please; the choleric that has to control everything and is decisively right or wrong; and the phlegmatic person who is always “behind the scenes,” and definitely avoids conflict. Mixing these disparate personality types at work can lead to the conflict that results in people saying he or she is a “difficult person.” Understanding why that person is “wired” that way, can give you a strategy or alternative way to approach them to get your desired results.
Sue reminded us that we need to “live in our strengths and not in our weaknesses,” and seek to master the art of getting better results with a given personality type. You know you are going to have to draw out the phlegmatic person to get their contributions on record, while you need to be diplomatic and decisive with the choleric to reap the benefits of their leadership without being overwhelmed. The value of understanding the personality types is a long range strategy to get the most out of the talents everyone has while experiencing less of the conflict.
Sue will be leaving the Access Group shortly to devote herself full time to her seminars and she encouraged the audience to learn more at her web site, www.setfreelifeseminars.com .
Sue's ultimate goals are to “help people and organizations become what they were meant to be: great managers...excellent employees...fearless professionals...and confident contributors to life”.
